Often times, I wish I could respond deadpan to the difficult customers at my work. But I cannot. Instead, I have to put on my customer service voice: cheerful and polite. When an "issue" (that often times would not actually be an issue to most people) or a complaint arises I usually say something along the lines of, "I'm so sorry to hear that," when really, in my head I'm thinking a bunch of, let's say, different things. For example, if a customer complains about long wait times, I wish I could respond and say, "Would you like your chicken to be raw?" Because of course they don't want their chicken to be raw. And it's an unreasonable complaint because there's no way to speed up the cooking process. I could say to the customer, "I don't want you to be waiting for your food any longer either because I'm tired of you giving me mean glares through the kitchen doors while I work." But, of course, I ...