Sophie's Sentiments

I'm led by Dionysian impulse. Why is that? I'm led by my emotions. Instead of relying on logic and reason, I find myself making quick impulsive choices, and basing my rational on how I feel. I appreciate brute realism, rather than far-fetched, outlandish ideas and dreams. I can empathize with others, and I love considering the fact that each person you walk by has their own complete life, just like me.  I also have an appreciation for music, and music that will allow me have an out-of-body experience and take me away from real life, absorbed my the beat. I rarely contemplate, analyze, or reflect on a song or its lyrics the first time I play it, but rather let every sound register in my brain.    But I'm also led by Apollonian impulse. I prefer order, a neatness. Everything I own has it's own distinct spot. I'm punctual and on time.  I'm up to date on what's happening, and aware of my surroundings and current events. I don't let a drunken state take over ...

     A blank page with no words. That's where this blog post originated from. And that's what it looked like for the first hour of its life.       That's how depression feels for me: like a blank page. When I try and speak, I can't get the words out. I'm thinking so much yet so little. I can't express what I'm feeling, there's no way to describe it, but I know I'm feeling a lot. It's an endless cycle, a giant paradox of thought.       When I first considered writing my college essays, I had no idea what to write about. Understandably, that's how a lot high schoolers I've talked to feel as well. We all just live our lives, day by day, nothing special, and we're often too busy to reflect or take note of defining moments until they've passed so long ago.       Not only was this blog a blank page, and my head a blank page, and my words a blank page, but ultimately, my life feels like a blank page. For years I've just...